I’ve been working on this project for a while pretty hard. You’re my select group and I feel led to say thank you. I’ll open up and say I’m scared. I’m not really sure if I can fully explain that last statement. I never really intended to tell this story. I didn’t wake up with a bright idea “I’ll write a book.” There’s a private side to my personality and I do not have a desire to be in the front. I tried to run, I tried to hide, but I couldn’t shake it. My wife, Carla, wrote in a Facebook post that I’ve given birth to my second child. How fitting.
I’m really writing this to say thank you for the tremendous response that I’ve received for this vision that the Holy Spirit rested ever so gently on my heart while being relentless in His pursuit of seeing it through. I’m in awe.
I’ll tell you that this project has been a work in progress for at least twenty years. All that time for 89 pages… Wow! I had erased it from my memory or at least I tried to. I believed it was a fleeting thought, but God said something different.
I started to recognize something different when things happened that I considered odd. I hadn’t thought about the project for over a year and the strangest things would happen that made me go “hmm” and it inspired me to think. And God gave me something to write.
In my acknowledgment I refer to a few as my ride-or-die crew. What they don’t know is that they don’t know each other and they called me on more than one occasion on the same night with the same questions. “How’s the book Kev? Is it finished yet?” And every time I was inspired write in the late night hours. That was my book formulation. It was bananas!
The first chapter, A Dimly Lit Room, was like birth. I went to the computer and this thing poured out of me in three hours as I just wrote. Some other chapters were more strenuous.
Here’s what I can tell you and here’s is what I know to be true. If the Holy Spirit is leading you in the dark, if you have a lamp that’ll only allow you to see one step ahead, take it. What I’ve found is that He has a plan and the next steps are covered. It’s been the strangest thing to me. This is not a prosperity gospel but more so a practice of obedience. The outcome of this project is not in the end game but in the obedience. By that I mean I have no pressure on me and no expectations. This is on you God. I pray that I not be focused on the results because this thing was never about me. I pray that I find the strength to take another step in the dark.
With that said, I had this thought that if I could encourage one man to take a close look at his worth in his child’s life then my work is done. I’ve received confirmation that my work is done. I’ve got the prize.
It’s been an amazing run. I’ll leave you with this. That thing that God has put on you, go after it. It could be from A to Z. It could be sweeping the streets or it could be the President of the United States. So often we look for confirmation in others. Let me save you some time and ease your guilt. Your lack of confidence or the need for another to affirm you is the problem. He’s having a private conversation with you and telling you to do this thing before you die.
He placed this vision on me some time ago. I imagined myself before the Father having a chat where time was of no essence. We had all the time in the world. I explained my side of the story as I saw it. I said, “what had happened was, you saw when I told Jane and Mike and how they reacted to this “THING” you were telling me about They were not receptive to the idea and I was discouraged, I was scared.” I spent hours going through all the scenarios, all the stories. He was so patient, so caring while I laid it all out. Then He asked this, “I got all that Kev but let me ask you this, what did that have do with our conversation? You didn’t need a confirmation or an affirmation. I already had it worked out.” He had this look of bewilderment that was soft and under spoken. The look said it all, ” I had you!” “All you needed to do was to take a step. I had everything laid out and an answer for the next step. All you needed to do was trust me Kev and take the next step. I got this, this isn’t about you, it is about me.“
I said like you’re about say: OK, I got it. This isn’t about expectations. This isn’t about perfection, this isn’t about winning or losing, this isn’t about fame or fortune. This is about being able to say, in all of my frailties, in all of my faults that plague me on a daily basis I heard you and to the best of my ability in this broken state I tried to respond to your call. I know I’m not worthy, but for this thing you’ve called me to, let me finish it.
Be encouraged my friends!
Kev, I have always been one of your biggest supporters of this project and will continue to encourage everyone to purchase a copy of Fatherhood. Again, it is only a matter of time that your story begins to bless the lives of people all throughout the world. Your life has been and inspiration to me and I pray the God continues to bless you and the words in the pages of FATHERHOOD.
LOVE YOU MY BROTHER.
I can only smile when I think of the many calls and many conversations we had concerning this book. What an encouragement you were and continue to be. I’m so grateful.
Kevin, this blog you’ve created is truly inspirational to me as a father of a son and daughter. Being father takes on larger than life responsibilities. One has to be both Dad and Mom at times, and learn how to raise that little angel to be. Queen. We are always looking at what we do and how it will affect our children now and in the future. Girls are always looking at their father for guidance, and how they should expect to be treated by another boy or man, and what it means to be a Father because every man is not and some cannot be a father. Fatherhood comes from being raised by good parents, and we pass those morales and ethics on to our children.
I was a single parent for several years, because I refused to allow another person to raise my children. It was hard, but I knew that I had the skills to do raise them on my own based on my upbringing. When I met my second wife, I exhaled because relief had come into my life. I didn’t know how to combine a girls hair, how to dress a little girl, because I haver three brothers. I managed, but man was it ever a challenge.
Let’s not forget I had a son to raise as well. Boys are different because they seem to roll with the flow lIke dad, but girls need that motherly, tender love. God has plans for everyone, and we must follow his will and persevere.
I’ve known you and your beautiful wife since our days in Grambling, and it’s a blessing that you never let your disability be your inability! Keep Achieving my Brother.
Frank, your words ring true! Thanks for sharing some of your story. I have not had the opportunity to meet your children in person, but i’ve seen some pics. It is evident that you’ve poured greatly into them. I can see it through a picture.
Wow !! KP I do not have the words to express how proud I am of you and Carla both. This wonderful accomplishment does not come as a surprise to me. As long as I have known you (30 yrs. )You have loved Words.
When you first told me about this project, I know the finished product was going to be something amazing. Kevin you have been and continue to be such a great example for us all, Especially for Emir . And for that I am grateful.
You are one of my most favorite people. Kevin I am so appreciative for your friendship. You have helped me through things that I would have not otherwise made it through. Kevin thank you for being obedient and answering the call. As a result of your obedience so many lives have been blessed and possible changed for the better. You have set the tone my friend (passed the baton) and so it is our responsibility to use the lessons that we all have learned from “Fatherhood” to uplift, enlighten and progress …
Thank you again for being YOU !
P.S. I have never held it against you TIGER (smile)
I remember how it all began. Who would have thought some 30 years ago that this would be the result. Through it all, I’m geateful and hope that I will inspire many.